You keep ending up in relationships that leave you feeling unseen, anxious, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe you’re the one who always gives more. Maybe you pull away as soon as things get close. Or maybe you swing between the two, always trying to find a safe middle ground — and never quite getting there.
You might be asking yourself:
• Why do I attract emotionally unavailable people?
• Why do I sabotage when things start to feel good?
• Why do I feel so anxious — or shut down — in relationships?
• What’s wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with you. But something in your nervous system is trying to protect you — and EMDR can help you understand, reprocess, and shift those old patterns for good.
When Old Wounds Show Up in New Relationships
Attachment issues don’t start in adulthood — they usually begin in childhood, shaped by early experiences of love, care, rejection, inconsistency, or neglect.
If your emotional needs weren’t met — or if love came with conditions — your brain and body learned to adapt. You became hyper-aware of rejection. You stopped expressing needs. You learned that closeness meant danger, or that staying silent kept the peace.
These strategies once kept you safe. But now, they keep you stuck — especially in romantic relationships, friendships, or even with coworkers.
How EMDR Therapy Can Help
Talk therapy can offer insight — and that’s important. But EMDR helps you go deeper than “understanding the pattern.” It helps your brain reprocess what it learned from those early experiences — so you can stop reacting from survival mode and start relating from your actual values and desires.
In online EMDR therapy, we focus on:
• Decreasing emotional reactivity and anxiety in relationships
• Healing the fear of abandonment or engulfment
• Updating core beliefs like “I’m too much,” “I’m unlovable,” or “I always get left”
• Learning to regulate without self-abandoning
I offer online EMDR therapy for attachment wounds and relational trauma to women in Texas, Colorado, Michigan, Missouri, and South Carolina.
What You Might Be Working Through
→ Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Relationships
You know the dynamic: it starts intense, then becomes chaotic, one-sided, or emotionally unsafe. EMDR helps untangle the deep pull toward what’s familiar — even when it hurts — and builds capacity for something better.
→ Healing from Emotional Unavailability
Whether you keep choosing partners who can’t meet your needs, or you feel the urge to pull away when someone gets close, EMDR can help you understand and shift those defenses.
→ Letting Go of People Who Couldn’t Love You Well
Sometimes the grief isn’t just about losing the relationship — it’s about letting go of who you hoped they would become. EMDR helps you process that loss without losing yourself.
→ Learning to Trust Again
If you’ve been betrayed, manipulated, or emotionally harmed, it can feel impossible to open back up. EMDR gently supports the repair of trust — in others, and in yourself.
What EMDR Looks Like in Our Work Together
We’ll begin by creating safety in your system — using grounding techniques and gentle body-based resourcing. When you’re ready, we’ll work together to identify key relational memories that still shape how you show up in connection. EMDR helps you release the emotional charge from those memories, rewire protective beliefs, and build secure internal ground.
You Deserve a Relationship That Doesn’t Cost You Yourself
You don’t have to keep shrinking, chasing, or avoiding to feel safe.