You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to be enough.

The Cost of Always Being ‘The Strong One’

You’re the one people rely on — the helper, the high-achiever, the one who gets things done. You’re thoughtful, competent, and outwardly composed. But inside, the pressure never lets up.

You:

   •   Replay conversations, worrying you said something wrong

   •   Struggle to relax, even when everything is “fine”

   •   Feel guilty resting or doing less—even when you’re exhausted

   •   Avoid things that aren’t guaranteed to be perfect

   •   Obsess over mistakes or perceived missteps

   •   Worry constantly about letting people down

   •   Put others’ needs before your own—and then feel resentful

   •   Overthink, overanalyze, and second-guess everything

   •   Downplay your accomplishments and focus on what still isn’t done

These aren’t just quirks of personality—they’re symptoms of high-functioning anxiety, perfectionism, and low self-worth. Patterns that once helped you feel safe are now keeping you stuck in cycles of burnout, self-doubt, and emotional depletion.

When Self-Worth Is Tied to Performance

Many high-functioning women have a story that sounds like this:

   •   You were praised for being responsible, helpful, or “mature for your age”

   •   You learned early on that love or acceptance was earned

   •   You became self-reliant, productive, and emotionally contained

   •   You were the peacemaker, the achiever, the one who made things easier for others

   •   You now feel like everything rests on your shoulders—and failure isn’t an option

What used to feel like strengths now feel like pressure. You’re running on empty, but afraid to stop.

Signs of High-Functioning Anxiety

   •   Overthinking and difficulty turning your mind off

   •   Constant worry about worst-case scenarios

   •   Feeling mentally and emotionally drained by daily tasks

   •   Restlessness even when things are going well

   •   Difficulty relaxing or slowing down

   •   Racing thoughts, especially at night

   •   Fear of disappointing others or being “too much”

   •   Appearing successful and put-together, but feeling overwhelmed underneath

   •   Saying yes when you want to say no

   •   Difficulty expressing your needs

   •   Feeling like you’re only doing “enough” if you’re doing everything

Signs of Perfectionism

   •   Paying extreme attention to detail

   •   Ruminating over small mistakes

   •   Avoiding tasks unless you can do them perfectly

   •   Feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough

   •   Fear of being judged, criticized, or failing

   •   Procrastinating due to pressure to get it right

   •   Difficulty celebrating accomplishments

   •   Self-doubt, even with external success

   •   Feeling like a fraud (Imposter Syndrome)

   •   Setting unreasonably high expectations for yourself

   •   Having trouble delegating tasks or trusting others’ work

   •   Micromanaging or over-preparing

   •   Viewing things as “all or nothing” or “right or wrong”

   •   Experiencing burnout but struggling to slow down

How EMDR Therapy Helps

EMDR is not just about managing symptoms—it’s about healing the experiences that shaped your beliefs about yourself, your value, and your role in relationships.

Together, we’ll work to:

   •   Process the root memories that taught you love is earned or mistakes aren’t safe

   •   Shift internalized messages like “I’m not enough” or “I have to do it all”

   •   Release the emotional charge that drives overthinking, self-criticism, and fear

   •   Create space to rest, speak up, and show up authentically

   •   Rebuild trust in yourself—so you’re not constantly seeking permission or approval

You don’t have to re-live painful experiences to heal them. We’ll move at a pace that feels safe and supported, beginning with resourcing tools like grounding, visualization, and bilateral tapping.

In addition to EMDR, I integrate supportive approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and parts work (IFS) to help you shift unhelpful thought patterns, reconnect with your internal clarity, and build a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

What You Might Be Carrying

→ Feeling Like You’re Never Enough

Even with accomplishments, there’s always a voice telling you it’s not quite good enough. EMDR helps shift that narrative so you can experience real self-acceptance.

→ Avoiding Mistakes at All Costs

You might procrastinate or obsess over getting everything right. We can gently explore the emotional roots of that fear and create space for flexibility.

→ Saying Yes When You Want to Say No

You’re afraid of being seen as difficult, rude, or selfish. These fears often trace back to early emotional conditioning — and EMDR helps you safely update those beliefs.

→ Living for Approval or Performance

You’ve learned to read the room, meet expectations, and keep others happy. EMDR can help you return to your own voice, values, and inner clarity.

→ Chronic Overthinking and Emotional Fatigue

You feel mentally exhausted from trying to manage everything and everyone. Together, we can help your nervous system find a new baseline—one that feels calmer and more grounded.

You Don’t Have to Hustle for Your Worth

You don’t have to be perfect to be accepted.

You don’t have to be selfless to be loved.

You don’t have to earn your rest.

I offer EMDR therapy for self-worth, people-pleasing, and perfectionism to adult women in Colorado, Michigan, Missouri, South Carolina, and Texas.

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